Inspire Me To Live!

Over the last year that I have been sick, I have tried to stay motivated to fight.  After all this is the fight of my life and I am a firm believer that mind can win over body any day.  I have said throughout my illness that if I think I am sick and dying I WILL BE sick and dying!  So, I continue to say I am beating this!  I am winning!  It is working most days and by the tests it is working period.  There are still days when I am sick and weak and I just can’t seem to get out of bed without a fight.  On these days I look for inspiration to get the hell up!  To find a reason to want to be a part of the world.  Some ray of hope or light that will spur me into action.

I won’t lie some days the cheer leading and pep squad method just doesn’t work.  I am human.  I get mad.  I get sad.  I get damn right pissed!   Why is this happening to me?  Well the resounding answer I always seem to feel from that question is why not?  Why wouldn’t it be me?  Bad things happen to good undeserving people everyday, and I have tended to be stronger than most, throughout my life.  It is best that it is me.  I can handle the pain and the fear and still on most days keep my head up.

I decided to share some of the things that I look through when I am having a bad day.  The things that make me say stop crying, stop with this and get up.  Fight through this for tomorrow cause it is worth it!

Number 1:

My grandson and my family.  Relationships have been strained and sometimes really tough but through it all the thought of my children and this little guy keep me movin’.  In the end it will show that my love for them was as tough as I have always said.  It will be what brings me through this.  I am not in a place with any of them to leave.  I have so many things to say and to do.  Those things will come.  There are several friends I include here as well… My friends are the family I have CHOSEN. 🙂

2.  My Work

The love I have for what I am doing and the hard work I have put into getting educated and able to do what I love keeps me motivated to stay around.  On a bad day I create something.  That always makes me smile :).

3. Nature

Most of the times just watching the leaves blow in the breeze is inspirational to me.  I feel so much from this earth. The power and the beauty are an amazing force.

4. Music

Music has always been a huge love of my life.  All kinds of music.  It makes me smile and my heart feel lighter.  I always have music around me.

Four simple things..I bet a million people take these things for granted every day. I don’t any longer.  Cancer has been a hell I will not even try to sugar coat it, but it has also been a life saver.  Can you believe that?  It has made me see what I want in life, what is worth the trouble and the turmoil and what is just so trivial it doesn’t deserve a second thought.  I know I live a different life now.  I live my life as if there is no tomorrow and although it sounds cliche, we are not promised tomorrow.  No one is…. Don’t let the time slip away.  Don’t leave things unsaid. and above all be happy.  What is life worth if you aren’t living it happy???