It has been a while since I posted. Honestly, I have been so busy I feel like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs! And it is a great thing. I returned to work full time. Well actually I returned to work times 2 or 3 lol. I took on a contract that I log in 40 hours a week and I also took on 4 side line contracts that all together take about 15 -30 hours a week. On top of that school, and house and kids lol. It feels normal again!
I am one of those over achiever people you hear about. I don’t need deadlines or screaming bosses to put pressure on me I put so much there myself I am always done with a task before anyone ever has a chance to say a word. I have gotten sick twice since my return. In 4 weeks two major flus or colds or whatever germ that happen to float on in. It was a pain and I have felt like utter poo BUT I did it!! I continued to work through it and guess what? I didn’t keel over like the doctor implied I would, and I didn’t suffer any longer than I normally do when a germ takes hold. As a matter of fact since I had something to stay focused on the time seemed to go by faster.
I feel good this week. I feel “normal” like before the big C me for the first time in MONTHS! Today was a good, productive day and on top of that I spent hours with my favorite man on the planet, my son, Zachary, just playing video games and hanging out and LISTENING to what he had to say. Before I got sick I acted the part of a listener. But I was always thinking about something else, planning meals, budgets, worrying about money, blah blah blah.
Guess what folks, honest to GOD they are telling the truth when they say life is too short! It is too short to worry about all that bull shit. I listened to my son and I realized, not for the first time, how lucky I am to have been blessed with 4 amazing, bright children who are also independent and FREE thinkers. They always think outside the box. I think they have me to blame for that and I hope someday they realize how lucky they were to have been taught from young ages to use that gift of free will and intelligence.
Words are power. I have felt that my entire life. I have had them take me places I would never have gotten without my gift for articulation and I have had them destroy me when used for punishment. I hope everyone realizes how powerful their words are whether they feel the strength or not. Being able to articulate yourself in a way that shows you have intelligence and grace is as important as knowing how not to use words as a weapon. They cut deeper than any knife or sword and the damage is eternal. It never heals completely. I have been stung and I have done my fair share of jabbing. One of the things I have tried to work on since the big C was NOT falling into the old habit of striking out when I get hurt. Most days I do okay and some days I know I owe an apology. The best thing about post big C me is that I am not afraid to admit I was wrong and say I am sorry. It is such a new thing to the people that know me, I wish they could understand how truly heartfelt it is.
I hope this post finds everyone doing well and having a wonderful time as we all get ready for the holiday blitz. Thank you for reading and I hope to post again on Sunday!
DeeAnn's Dazzle 